From a Fosterer: #Iamnotkellistapleton

A guest post by a foster carer on the attempted murder of Issy Stapleton. It is a plea to parents who need help to seek it – that the stigma of foster care needs to cease.
Comments on this post will be strictly moderated as its author may not be readily available to engage in discussion. For more pieces on this hate crime visit the #Iamnotkellistapleton #walkinissysshoes flash blog site or find more on Twitter.

I am not Kelli Stapleton. .
I am not murder.
I am not death.

I am another option.
The better option
I am not ‘giving up’

I am the respite you desperately need
And the break your child craves.
I am space to think, a chance to regroup to find the strength you need.
I am the loving home for however long it takes.

I am the foster carer.
I chose this life.
I chose to love an Autistic child. I turned down the mainstream placements.
I never wanted to be ‘mum’, I don’t want your job title.

We can share in celebrating progress and the breakthroughs.
Let’s laugh together about the funny moments and moan about the frustrations.
We understand each other.
We both want your child to meet their goals and potential.
Allow me to share with you the perfect, unique individual you brought into the world, and it would be my honour



  1. You’re not Ms. Stapleton; you’ve opened your heart to children in need of a safe, nurturing environment

    Thank you for kindness and your love.

  2. Great site you have here but I was curious if you knew of any community forums
    that cover the same topics talked about in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get
    comments from other knowledgeable individuals that share
    the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Thank you!

  3. This woman wrote this blog post where she compares herself to battered women who stay with their abusers because they supposedly love them – and her daughter to the abusers in question. Yeah, apparently an extremely distressed tween girl who has tantrums because she’s confused and overwhelmed by the world around her, and defends herself against her mother who has very likely attempted to physically hurt her before this, is the same as an abusive husband. I remember my first urge when I read it was telling her to jump off a bridge but I soon realised that if she read that and got upset she might turn even more aggressive on her daughter so I just closed the tab and punched a wall or something.

    It’s infuriating to me that abusive parents of disabled people keep making excuses for themselves and describing their children’s very existence as a plight when there are plenty of families who just deal with it as another aspect of their being; I’m fairly certain a lot of autistic people who are victims of this kind of horror would not even be as violent as their parents claim them to be, were they raised in a supportive environment by people who love them. Kelli Stapleton should be imprisoned for life and Issy should be in the care of someone qualified and understanding.

Tell me what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s